You Don't Have To Believe Them

Associate Programs Newsletter #527

Posting, sharing, circling, flagging, tweeting, re-tweeting, commenting, responding?

Is that REALLY how you want to spend your time on this planet?

Are you going to regret it?


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You don't have to believe them

A visitor to the other day told me I wasn't responding to enough of the comments that people made.

He's right. If you respond to more comments, visitors who take the time to post comments will feel appreciated and will return and post more comments. Your site will look busy and be busy, which is good for your image, and should eventually be good for your sales.

Lots of people will also tell that you should also post frequently, tweet frequently, be fully engaged in all the main social media, and become an authority figure that other people follow.

And, these days, that should include being super active on Google+, too.

If that sounds like the life you want to lead, here's an article you ought to read...

Makes sense, doesn't it?

Well, yes, except...

Posting, sharing, circling, flagging, tweeting, re-tweeting, commenting, responding?

Is that REALLY how you want to spend your time on this planet?

I know Google is placing more importance on fresh content and social media, and it's important to have influential sites linking to your stuff, so if you're hungry for success - or simply hungry - you'll want to use every available minute to boost your presence online.

On the other hand, you might want to pause now and again and live a more balanced life.

I was thinking about all this the other day while I was out kayaking with Joanna. We were leisurely paddling on Lake Dunstan in New Zealand, where it's summer right now. The lake was perfectly calm. It was one of the magical days when you can see the willow trees and mountains reflected on the water, and the trout were jumping for dragonflies.

We were lucky enough to have the lake all to ourselves and I couldn't help wondering what everyone else was doing when they could have been out enjoying themselves.

Next time someone tells you that you "must" do this, or you ought to do that, remember you don't have to believe them. I hope you'll pause and ask yourself, "Is that REALLY how I want to spent my time?"

Let's face it, only a small proportion of us are going to end up owning high-profile authority sites. Meanwhile, thousands upon thousands of other affiliates quietly carry on attracting traffic and making sales.

Are you going to regret this?

One day, will you look back and regret the life you chose?

Australian Bronnie Ware, who spent several years as a caregiver for dying people, recorded on her blog the top five regrets of the dying.

Perhaps you've seen her article. Millions have.

Some of the top five regrets of the dying aren't surprising. They include "I wish I hadn't worked so hard" and "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings".

No.5 is usefully thought provoking...

"I wish that I had let myself be happier."

Bronnie says: "This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice."

However, it's the No.1 regret that really strikes a chord with me. Here it is...

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all," Bronnie says. "When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made."

Some people insist they have no regrets but I suspect we all do. I'm not going to dwell on mine.

Here's Bronnie's "Regrets of the Dying" article...

Bronnie says: "I think, perhaps, the article's greatest success is that it gives people the permission to be themselves and makes them aware of their choice and power to be that. It also reminds us that only we can be responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness in the long run."


Joanna took this photo while we were kayaking on Lake Dunstan.

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Thought for today: No regrets

"Looking back, of course, it was irresponsible, mad, forlorn, idiotic, but if you don't take chances then you'll never have a winning hand, and I've no regrets." - Bernard Cornwell.

All the best

Allan Gardyne

February 23, 2012

Comments (15)

Said this on February 24, 2012 At 08:53 am

Thank you, Allan. This was a very welcome message and with perfect timing for me.  It stopped me in my tracks and already has me re-evalutating my life and my work.

Said this on February 24, 2012 At 09:56 am

Thanks Allan, as usual you have managed to inspire me. Loved Bronnie's article too. I am 33 years old. Sometimes I pretend that I am 80 and ask myself "How would I live my life if I was only 33?" And that's how I live it. Your newsletter has just assured me that I am doing the right thing...

Sloane Taylor Blake

Said this on February 24, 2012 At 10:17 am

Incredible post, Allan. Way too many people focus on the minutiae which is where you get bogged down in the wrong side of the 80-20 coin, wasting your life on the latest "must-do's" by the SEOers and various cutting-edge professional marketers with the "latest and greatest" thing to do... which sucks more time out of your life, time that could be spent enjoying life.

Getting the 80% right leaves you with the time to do those things that the dying wish they had done.

And on that note, I'll be disappointed if you reply to this.  So I leave a big "THANK YOU" with no expectation of reply from you, Allan, but rather that you keep on...

Happy kayaking! :-)

All the best,


Donna White
Said this on February 24, 2012 At 12:41 pm

I agree.  I don't want to spend so much of my time on socializing.  I don't mind announcing to my Twitter followers about a new post to my website.  I have been trying to give only value in the tweets, but doing this several times a day takes too much time in my opinion.  So the results have only been an average of about 1 tweet a week.  Thank you so much for showing an alternative to the socializing internet marketer and that all that tweeting, liking, etc. is not always needed to succeed in earning online.    

I always look forward to your emails.  You are appreciated.

Take care,


P.S.  In the email when you were describing the photo Joanna took, I could really imagine being there.  And now looking at the photo in this post, I am there.  LOL  It is a beautiful picture.  Joanna, you are talented!

Said this on February 24, 2012 At 01:52 pm

I consider you and your advice very credible and trustworthy. I was disappointed in your choice of sponsor affiliate program above...psychics???  No doubt there is money there, but ...just sayin'

Said this on February 24, 2012 At 04:15 pm
Hi L, Thanks for the feedback. I didn't choose the Sponsor. The "Sponsor" section is a paid advertisement. I have a list of ad types that I reject: Viagra, tobacco, multi-level marketing, "adult" stuff, etc. I hadn't thought of rejecting psychics.

I have been thinking of not publishing any advertisements in the newsletter. That would make my life simpler. But every now and again an advertiser pesters me to be in the newsletter.
Said this on February 24, 2012 At 03:48 pm

Thanks Allan for your article. My wife and I did an 8+ mile hike last monday (Presidents Day) in Hickory Hammock Wildlife Area in Florida. It was great! In the past, I would have been stuck working at some job doing something I didn't want to do. But now because of my web site, I can do what I want!

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Said this on February 24, 2012 At 03:57 pm

I turned off all my comments on my blogs (More accurately about 95% = TURN ON MODERATION AND MAKE REGISTER) because responding to them is a waste of time. People who will take the time to register and know their comments are being moderated will in general post something that might have real value.  And the vast majority of comments are made by STUPID PEOPLE who think that posting their little IDIOTIC MESSAGES "Great Site"  "I will bookmark" or whatever is somehow "Marketing".  These people are wasting their time and mine.

Google makes information on what they are looking for readily available.  And Google is NOT REWARDING COMMENT URL'S in fact it could hurt you as it leaves a "Footprint".  Google rewards RELEVANCE, VALUE and TIMELINESS.

So much of what people do to "PROMOTE" their websites is like digging a hole then filling it up, then digging it again over and over and expecting to somehow turn a profit from their efforts.  Total Waste of Time.

The ONLY EFFECTIVE way to "Market" a product or service (You don't market "Websites") is to CREATE VALUE!!!  When you have created actual value you can PARTNER and ADVERTISE.  Each link you create on another web property MUST CREATE VALUE for the owner of that property and their audience/visitors.

The VAST MAJORITY of "Affiliate Marketers" NEVER CREATE ANY VALUE.  All of the VALUE lies in the product or service they are "Marketing".  Thus there is actually no reason for them to exist and Google knows this and responds accordingly.

Interaction with commenters means nothing UNLESS YOU ARE CREATING VALUE for your visitor that will result in turning a profit.

And that is how it is, not how these PRETENDERS want it to be.

Only a select handful of readers of you site will ever actually understand the VALUE equation.

Alan, Thank you for posting this article which needed to be posted so that people will realize they are wasting their time unless they are creating value.  And to sit and dig that hole and fill it back up over and over and over.  That's an incredible waste.

If you think I'm wrong about comments and links from comments and you have supported yourself full time from your Affiliate Marketing efforts for the past decade then go ahead and chime in.  If not then happy hole digging.   It's about 1pm now and I'm done working for the day... things to do that do not involve sitting in front of a computer screen.  Enjoy

Said this on February 24, 2012 At 11:26 pm

In the poem of William Henry Davies -

What is this life if full of care
We have no time to stand and stare?
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep, or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Said this on February 29, 2012 At 01:21 pm

Hi Allan,

I would have responded to your magnificent article sooner, but was too busy outside kayaking, biking and hiking. :-)

Sometimes I wonder what a different world it would be if everone made 'living without regret' their first objective. Thanks for the reminder!


P.S. Beautiful pic, Joanna. Looks like we have the same boats. :-)

Said this on March 1, 2012 At 01:23 pm

When I first heard about Twitter I thought it was the dumbest thing on earth. It was originally about telling people your location - not about what you ate for breakfast. Thanks for your free 18 step program ( I'll read it over breakfast - but I won't tell you what I had to eat). 

michael morahan
Said this on March 1, 2012 At 08:06 pm

dear allan good to read your newsletter as always 

did you go to waitaki boys high ?

i was at st kevins 1967 to 1971

all the best michael

Said this on March 1, 2012 At 08:28 pm
Hi Michael

Thanks. Yes, I went to Waitaki Boys High. It was just over the fence from my parents' farm.
Said this on March 19, 2012 At 08:50 am

It is really nice to read "proper content" written by somebody who has something to say. Clearly you are happy with your life and this comes through in the words you write. So much of the internet is full of bogus content that is just churned out to caoture specific keyword traffic. If you are passionate about a topic you can create great conetent and live a happy life just as you describe in your article. All this Twittering, Tweeting & Facebooking does have a place of course... in the bin! Keep your feet firmly on the ground, don't lose touch with reality & follow your heart... you won't go far wrong!

Said this on March 31, 2012 At 01:59 pm

As a fellow kiwi I endorse your choice of location for relaxation.

When I think of those in parts of the US living thousands of miles from the coast who may have never paddled on sea shore I'm reminded how blessed we are down under.

Here in the Hawke's Bay the 2011/12 summer has been the wettest of the last decade so fingers crossed that we get a mild winter to compensate.

Having spent many years nursing I can relate to Bronnie's "Regrets of the Dying" article, which I have read numerous times.

As for doing what others think/say I should do that is and always will be my decision. I always thought the number one reason for starting an online business whether it's affiliate marketing or any other model was to be your own boss.

To become successful you need to avail yourself of quality advice from those more experienced but at the end of the day you must choose the advice to follow and what to ignore.

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